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| Handsome but downcast |
Some men have untoward behaviour which they should fast do away with. They should not overlook this or take it with levity. This is because these are some of the real reasons they are not known as ladies’ men. These things are stumbling blocks to them settling down to have a long lasting marriage life.
A dejected lonely young man
Women are fragile vessels. They should be handled with caution. They should be given regular care and attention. Women are not the only ones to share the blame for hiccups in relationship. A great number of men are to blame.
It takes two to tango! Men who do not accord due respect to women are anachronistic in thinking. They will continue to shoot themselves in the foot if they do not see the opposite sex as invaluable treasures. A man who always wants to do things with little or no input from a woman will stumble and fall many times. If a man believes he has all the wisdom in the world and ought not to carry a woman along in his decision makings, then he must have a quick re-think and immediately re-trace his steps.
Women are not slaves and they should never be treated as one. Some men want women who will treat them as kings without having a modicum of a king’s qualities. They want women, who will serve as house helps or maids to them. All these are totally wrong mindsets that must be expunged from men. Even if a man decides to have a lowly educated female as his life partner, the woman might still leave him if he is too overbearing. This is one of the great mistakes some men do make.
Men who are experts at blame games should begin to examine themselves. They should desist from such acts. They should know why women are not comfortable with them. They should find out the best methods of cleansing themselves off anti-feminine spirits. It is important for them to know the real reasons women point at them with a long pole. Some Nigerian men have some of these bad qualities. It is better to correct them than living with them.
1. Dictatorial tendencies
It marvels someone to hear stories of men who beat up their wives. Instances are numerous in the country. It is totally inhuman to raise a finger at a lady, not to talk of punching her or using whips to flog her. But the truth is that some men are highly violent. Just a little provocation from their partners and they become flared up. This happens not only in Nigeria, but unfortunately, it happens in advanced climes.
A good example was a one – time heavy weight boxing champion of the world, Mike Tyson who punched his wife. He had no empathy because he said afterwards that the punch he threw at his wife was one of the best punches he ever threw. He was tried and jailed for this. At the end of the day, his wife had to divorce him.
Another example happened a few years back in Ibadan, capital of Oyo state. A female banker died in the hospital after her partner had beaten her blue-black. Men in this category give orders to their partners as if they are army generals. They shout at women. They blow out minor issues out of proportion. You hear them tell a woman to sit down there, give me your phone and they tell such woman to always tell them everything she will do before she does them. Some of these men also sexually abuse women.
2. Miserly nature
You have to spend on a lady. There is no route out of this. Men who are too frugal with their money are big time deceits. Even before marriage, a man has to spend money on a woman. There is a wrong notion by some men that it is only “geisha girls” that demand for money from men. Even a responsible woman that is ready to settle down requires good things. Whether petty things like recharge cards or tangible things like dresses and jewelleries, a man must spend. No man should deceive himself by avoiding spending because he has a working class lady beside himself. Whether a woman asks
for money, every man should be ready to dole out something. If a man always tells a woman he does not have money to give her, then the man should be ready to lose his position to another man who is ready to spend.
3. Lack of social life
Just like bees and ants, man is a social being. The ability to interact and socialise effectively with women go a long way in assisting a man to get a wife. Apart from this, a man should create time for leisure and recreation with his partner. There should be time for picnic, travelling together for holidays and vacation, going to the beach and recreation centres, having breakfast, lunch and dinner together and so many other engagements. If a man is so rigid and sees no sense in a social life, then he could be isolated by women. If he sees no reason having social events every time a woman asks him, this means he has widely opened the door for the woman to come in, stay inside a little while and then go out.
4. hoarse voice
Men who do not know how to talk to women are harming themselves. A man who finds it difficult to soften his voice when talking to a lady should start learning beautiful ways of talking to women. Such men should study women by learning how to sing lovely poems to them. This indicates they care. However, if the man talks as if he is screeching, then the lady may need to look at another way.
5. Inability to interpret a lady’s feelings
A man who is not smart making meanings from everything a lady does is not helping matters. Ladies often do not like coming out straight if they meet a man they like. They are very good at using signs and symbols. A man should know how to interpret all these. If a woman winks at him and then smiles, he should know what it means. If the lady only winks without smiling, he should also make a good guess.
Also, if the woman first frowns, then smiles and later laughs, he should try to guess right. On the other hand, a man who does not pass positive comments on a lady’s hair style, shoes or dress or even look up at her will make that lady see him as a “zombie.” If care is not taken, the covert feelings such a lady has for him may turn out to become an overt hatred.
A man should know what it means if a particular woman is always greeting him, always wants to sit beside him and shows more interest about his personal life. A man who does not know how to read these signs and symbols in women might scare away a wife material even if he meets one.
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